Jack’s Winning Words  11/30/22

“Sometimes my feelings creep out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.”  (Sent by Jackie Beach)  Is it a sign of aging that brings tears when you remember?  An old song can do it, or a picture from the past.  For me, an emotional memory will do it….especially when the memory applies to a truly sad situation.  I like to be in control, but there seems to be a trigger in my mind that ignores the control that I think I have.  A few Sundays ago I was going to tell about the church’s handbells and how they were given in memory of a young church member…and I just couldn’t do it.  My feelings began to creep down my cheeks.  Has that ever happened to you?  ;-)  Jack

FROM WILLMAR REV:  "Dry eyes and fond memories-- constantly wiping my eyes, with my nose running!!" 0;-))===JACK:  And here I thought that it was just me. 

FROM MAGGIE:  > Today is the 2nd anniversary of Mike’s death. My feelings still creep down my cheeks. I miss him so much… Peace to you in your memories.  > Love in Christ our Lord, > Love in Christ our Lord,===JACK:   Of course I don't miss him as you do, as a brother, but I miss him as a church member and as a friend.

FROM FACEBOOK LIZ:  😢===JACK:  You DO have feelings and tears!===LIZ:   why on earth would you think i don't?!?===JACK:  I have my reasons.  Do you like the self you show to others? A YES or NO answer will be enough....or maybe ot. ===LIZ:  i have been insulted for the last time. a shame, truly===JACK:  I certainly did not see it as an insult (just friend to friend talk).  Sorry if I made it seem like an insult.===LIZ: it happens all the time, and i don't understand why. friends don't act like that... enjoy the holiday season===JACK:  My face to face friends and I have no tr4ouble understanding each other.  Computer communication often has the problem of misunderstanding.  I like you anyway.

 FROM ST PAUL:  i do think we become  more emotional as we age.   we may well feel things more deeply than in our youth.  it's also a part of being human,  growing older,  and we should not be ashamed of it.    was this at Holy Spirit LC in MI?  ===JACK:  I would like to think that with agong comes understanding rather that emotional ism.===SP:   His mother put on a Birthday Party for him, and my son and I were the oly ones who showed up.===JACK:  I'm simply referring to my own experience.

FROM MATT V:  It happened when I tried to speak at my mother’s funeral. ===JJACK:  It happened a couple of weeks ago when I began to talk about a young man who committed suicide.===MV: That would be a difficult one. I’m sorry for his family.===JACK:  His mother put on a Birthday Party for him, and my son and I were the oly ones who showed up.===MV:  Very sad. Reminds me of a story of a young man who was clearing out his books from his locker at school one day. He was walking home and was bullied by some kids-knocking the books out of his hands and him to the ground. Another young man saw this and went to the bullied child, helped him up and carried his books for him. They became friends and the bullied child grew up to be a productive member of society. At graduation he told the story of the person who came to his aid. He said he cleaned out his locker and was going home to kill himself. This kind person stepped in and became his friend and changed the course of his life. I’m sorry it didn’t work that way for the person you knew. It was a kind gesture by you and your son.===JACK:  Sometimes you do the right thing...and sometimes you wish that you had of...and then it's too late...WOULDA, SHOULDA, COULDA!

 ROM LS IN WB:  When my emotions are triggered I try to remember I have a choice: I choose to focus on my audience,  what do I want them to remember ? My tears or my message.  I want them to experience the their own tears or experience the story in another way unique to them.  If I am able, rehearsing helps, repeatedly feeling the emotion,  even in silence, in my mind with visualization.  Having written this, I have gotten choked up ( several times ).  Once I recall, recently, upon delivering a painful personal experience to a group that knew me ( business well).  I reminded myself that the message I wanted to deliver, was of great importance to me, for them to understand and feel my pain and gratitude I was sharing with them.  

FROM EMT SINGS IN TC:  Almost every day!===JACK:  You can't do much better than that.

…….. I  took a breath ( or 2 - a moment of pause) and continued successfully, able to refocus and continue by the grace of God and lots of work before getting up to deliver my passionately written words. 

 This practice is yet another tool in communication.  A gift  - an art, delivering a story heard by all, letting it be their experience in the hearing not making it seeing me react in my experience.   Let them focus on the words and what they mean to them not on me and my reaction.  Instead of tears we can learn to use pauses, body language, eye contact, setting of our intention as we deliver words to be heard, felt as unique by those we are communicating with.  Toastmasters taught me this skill among so many others.  Practice, practice, practice with intention, accepting failure as a possibility, and an opportunity to forgive myself and embrace my imperfections with my loving energy for learning.  Sometimes, I am my best teacher ❤️. ===JACK:  It appears as though you have a plan that works.  If it works, go with it. 

 FROM JU IN NC:  Not as often as I would like.===JACK:  Think back!  You've shed your share...and MORE!  GIE: 

FROM SHALOM JAN:    My feelings creep down my cheeks at almost every Baptism I do.  Baptism is the foundation for our relationship with God through Christ Jesus.  It is THE MOST IMPORTANT of sacraments.  I am particularly touched when a teen or an adult desires to receive Baptism after hearing of God's love.  "Welcome to the family!" is what I have often said to such people.===JACK:  Funerals do it for me.===SJ:Same for me, sometimes.  That's also when the "child of God" of baptismal faith comes in strongly, too.

 FROM CM IN CA:  Love this one , keep up the good work.===JACK:  It's always good (and a surprise) when I hear from you.

FROM DAIRYLAND DONNA:  All of the time 😊