Jack’s Winning Words 2/5/21 “Forgiveness of self is the hardest of the forgivenesses.”  (Joan Baez)  It’s really difficult to get rid of guilt.  An article in Psychology Today says that it begins with admitting the mistake, learning from it, and trying t6 make amends (if you are able).  I’ve tried it.  It’s hard, but it can be done.  Georgia Durante was a driver for the Mafia, but decided to break away and became a stunt car driver and a speaker on domestic violence.  Try self-forgiveness today!  ;-)  Jack   FROM NORM'S BLOG:  I think the thing that we need to do first, in order to forgive ourselves is to accept that God loves us so much that he forgives whatever we have done and continues to embrace us. Once you can accept God and His love into your life, you will find it easier to forgive yourself and move on. It allows you to refocus from the thoughts of “I wish that I hadn’t” onto thoughts of “I still can”. It resets your sights from the past towards the future. It allows you to move on from “What did I do” and instead start thinking about “What can I do”.===JACK:  "What can I do?" comes after the person has been forgiven?  BUT, what if the person harmed refuses to forgive?  FROM BB IN CHGO:   Wonderfully encouraging words.  I think the liturgy includes confession and absolution (in part) for this purpose.  LV Lutheran had individual confession available as well – which I previously didn’t know Lutheran’s could do – and I thought that option was helpful when struggling with persisting issues.  On the issue of trying to make amends; we learned from our old Orthodox Jewish neighbors that they have a special week-long window in which to make amends during the high holidays, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  If you’re in that community and get an awkward call during that time, I guess it’s a signal – everyone knows – that the person on the other end of the line feels compelled to set things right and make a fresh start.  While it might seem stilted to set that week aside, I kind of like that there is an expectation that people take more than a few hours to evaluate how their actions have affected or wronged others and then take significant steps to turn around the wounded relationship.===JACK:  While the Jews have a special time for confession and forgiveness, ant eh Catholics (and some Lutherans) have personal confession and absolution, many Lutherans aren't aware that the "passing of the peace" is a time for making amends with with people who are estranged from each other.  "Peace be with us!"  Of course there's confession and absolution in the liturgy, but it doesn't seem personal (at least it doesn't to me). FROM JR IN ANDOVER: Seems we had correspondence about Joan Baez in 1970?===JACK: I know that I like her singing, but I can't remember what subject you and I were discussing. FROM JU IN NC  I am trying to learn how to forgive more quickly, both towards myself and others.  The less space between the forgivable event and the act of forgiveness will prevent the accumulation of hateful thoughts and actions to fill the space.====JACK:  Real forgiveness is always HARD, no matter the situation nor the time lapse.  I've been taught that you aren't able to forgive until a person asks, "I have wonged you.  Will you forgive me?"