Jack's Winning Words

Jack’s Winning Words 1/28/21

“Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” (Alan Alda) I was surprised to learn that it was Epictetus who observed that we have two ears and only one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. Missionary Howard Olson translated, from Swahili, the hymn, “Listen! God is calling…offering comfort and joy!” In this world, plagued by fear and apprehension, I hear God saying, “Fear not, I am with you always.” Listen! Can you hear Him? ;-) Jack

FROM DAZ IN CO: Good one! Too much nastiness now..===JACK: Few of them seem to know how to compromise for the good of the people. I'm sure that that were copmpromizes when you were in "the business" and at home, too.

FROM ER IN SCO: It never ceases to surprise me how timely your messages appear in my life. God and I just had a talk about my past sins today. I cried as I layed my heart out anew, and through you (and your WW) God seems to have spoken to say that he knows my heart and forgives. Thank you, Jack Freed, for contining to quietly bring me peace and closer to God in your gentle, unobtrusive way.===JACK: Today, the first call I received was from God, using the voice of a friend. It was EErie. God moves in mysterious ways. It certainly makes life more meaning ful.

FROM BLASING OAKS: I am anxious about further violence by the Trump coalition of discontented groups now in touch with one another. These are surely troubled times where cool heads and respect and compassion are in short supply. Just have to keep praying for our gov't. and our country!! Epictetus had it right; listen and learn!===JACK: I wonder if this was how the Civil War started...something small turning into something BIG? Or, like putting off going to the doctor until it's too late.===OAKS I was just reading in the book "Don't know much about History" that the 11 states thAT seceded from the union due to increasing control by the Northern states.. I was surprised to learn that the majority in the South did not own slaves, but supported those whose liveliihood depended on slave labor, but the NOrth controlled prices of crops, cotton manufacturing, trade, etc, and they feared submission to the North was taking away their way of life in the South. MANY little things, it seems!===JACK As you know, the so-called facts of history depend on who has written the history.

FROM TRI HARDER: There are mediation techniques where one party acknowledges another party's argument to demonstrate he/she understands it before arguing against it.===JACK: I'm glad to know that the practice of law has a place for mediation. I wish that there something like that for Congress.

FROM WILLMAR REV: I am “all ears” now to hear the good words shared throughout the day...I’ve already been blessed here at this early morning hour! 0;-)===JACK: I learned in seminary the "omni" words that describe God. One of those was "omnipresent." He is always with us. I had an omnipresent" experience this morning. The other omni words are omniscient and omnipotent.===JACK: Those descriptions have been part of a welcomed vocabulary describing the deity of our Creator for many years...they always bless me when thinking of God’s noted attributes! 0;-)

FROM NORM'S BLOG:

New post on NormsMilfordBlog

Listening is just step two…

by Norm Werner

Pastor Freed used this quote from Alan Alda today - “Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” (Alan Alda)

Hearing is probably step one, but it does not carry with it the acknowledgement that you have recognized anything other than that some sounds are being made. When one moves from hearing to listening, the change is both a recognition of the speaker and a focus upon understanding what is being said. Just saying ,”I hear you”, does not mean that you are really listening to what the other person is saying. The listening that Alda was probably referring to goes well beyond just politely waiting for your turn to speak. Too many people spend that polite time focused more upon what they want to say next, rather than really listening to what the speaker is saying and evaluating their position or arguments.

Alda used the words “being able to be changed” in his quote. I would prefer “being open to be changed”. It is important to keep an open mind, to be willing to re-evaluate your position and current opinions on something, based upon new information. Many times such an encounter will not require a major change in your position, but taking the opportunity to listen to different points of view and opinions will give you a better understanding of those who hold different points of view. That will perhaps allow you to better prepare yourself for those encounters.

Assuming that you have moved through steps one and two, you now are faced with step three – evaluating what to do with, or about, this new information. In some cases, the information may be so ridiculous that your reaction may have to be to stifle a laugh; however, remember that this new point of view was just put forward by someone who may deeply believe what they just said. Excusing yourself and beating a hasty retreat may be the best course of action in that case.

Let’s assume that what you just listened to is, in fact , a valid alternative point of view to your own, based either upon different information than you had on which to base your position or a different interpretation of the same information. That’s when you must be open to change. You must be willing to look at the situation from that other person’s point of view and make a decision on whether to stand firm in your belief or change towards the other person’s belief. That forces you to examine what it was that caused you to form your opinion. Was it really based upon facts or did preconceived notions and prejudices creep into your decisions and opinions?

We hear often about systemic racism these days in the news, That refers to policies and behaviors within government and business entities that are based upon and driven by prejudice. In fact, those prejudices all start within the individuals that make up that entity. Systemic problems are codified within the entities but they start within us all. Being open to change forces us to face our internal systemic issues like racism, sexism, homophobia and others.

Once you have listened with an open mind, and faced down the systemic issues within yourself, you must decide how and where to add this new knowledge into what is called your wisdom. If you decide that you do need to change, some old thoughts and opinions will have to be swept away. Some fears will need to be buried. Some actions and activities may have to be abandoned. You will have a new point of view and the world will look different to you. That’s a good thing, You have grown by being open to change. I think you will like the new view that you see because you will be more consciously aware of and more comfortable with your vantage point.

You listened, you learned and you changed. Good for you! Good for us all.

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