Jack’s Winning Words 7/2/15
“The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.”  (Henry Boyle)  Where has bi-partisanship gone?  Some of our best legislators have thrown in the towel, because there’s no middle ground.  Maybe that’s also a cause for an almost 50% marriage failure rate.  A map for the ½-way trip…put your ego in the trunk…listen…compromise is not surrender…there are usually two sides…issues aren’t always values…be civil.  Happy trails to you!    ;-)  Jack


FROM TRIHARDER:  A key ingredient in negotiation of any kind -- legal, marital, ... verbalizing an understanding of the position of the "other side."====JACK:  Even those whose business involves "negotiating," have to involve that skill in our personal life.  Raising children is an example.====TH:  Parents don't always negotiate. More often than not, "because I said so" is sufficient. But, yes, negotiation in business is a valuable art. Scorched earth victory yields two (or more) losers.====JACK:  I'm reminded of the song, "Blowin' in the Wind"----"When will they ever learn?" 


FROM HONEST JOHN:  One of the great learnings of debating is that you see there are not only multiple sides to questions but Valid multiple sides.====JACK:  Since I'm not schooled in debate, I've often wondered....Is the purpose of the debater to win the argument at all costs, even to the extent of pushing a point that is inferior (or even untrue)?  Or..is winning the only thing?====JOHN:  If you are debating the good teams, you can't get by with shenanigans....stretch the truth and live to see yourself exposed.    Therefore, we were taught by Holcomb to win by using good logic and good sources.    Fudging was for losers.====JACK:  My favorite Mackinac Island fudge is Joanne's.  BTW, do you remember when "No fudging" was called out during a game of marbles?


FROM MP IN MICHIGAN:  "issues aren't always values".............I like that.====JACK:  One of my favorite courses in college was called, American Ideals.  I learned a lot about the importance of values in the life-makeup of some of our country's best leaders.  I've been a proponent of teaching "values" to children, except............where to do it?....and whose values (mine or yours)?  Even the recent Supreme Court decisions are basically about values.====MP:  Just found today, a quote from Margaret Thatcher:  “Consensus: “The process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values, and policies in search of something in which no one believes, but to which no one objects; the process of avoiding the very issues that have to be solved, merely because you cannot get agreement on the way ahead. What great cause would have been fought and won under the banner: ‘I stand for consensus?”


 FROM CS IN MICHIGAN:  Really like this one - actually like your "take" on it - makes the phrase more memorable!!====JACK:  When it comes to meeting "half-way," someone has to make the first move, and the other has to respond...or else, there's a stalemate.  I'd rather be the first mover...and, if
that doesn't work, I'd try another move...and another.  I wouldn't let negativity get the best of me.


FROM TARMART REV:  Even a Lutheran and Pentecostalist can find common ground to express their faith!!====JACK:  I've even known of a Pentecostal who could find common ground with those of a faith other than Christian.  I wonder what denomination God is?


FROM ME IN NEWPORT BEACH:  Thanks for sending.  I just forwarded this to several of my friends who I believe know this trip very well.  Perhaps none better than you.  With my compliments. ====JACK:  On the road to success, it's good to have some humility in the tank.  Most people I know are turned off by a Mr (or Ms) Know-it-all.  I like the word, self-effacing.


FROM HUNGRY HOWIE:  Absolutely====JACK:  Half-way travelers sometimes have to let their absolutes ride in the backseat for awhile.


FROM CG:  I liked this!====JACK:  I can imagine that going "half-way" is part of your day-to-day business.

FROM MY LAWYER:  A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his three sons.
When his sons opened up the Will it read:
My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;
My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;
My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.
As it's impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons started to fight with each other.  So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite smart, to see if he could work it out for them.
The farmer friend read the Will patiently, after giving due thought, he brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17. That increased the total to 18 horses.
Now, he divided the horses according to their father's will.
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.
Now add up how many horses they have: Eldest son  9  Middle son  6  Youngest son  2
TOTAL = 17
Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm.
Problem solved!
Moral:  The attitude of negotiation and problem solving is to find the "18th horse", that is "the common ground". Once a person is able to find the 18th horse, the issue is resolved. It is difficult at times. However, to reach a solution, the first step is to believe that there is a solution. If we
think that there is no solution, we won't be able to reach any!