Winning words 10/5/11
“I’ve learned that you don’t have to be glib; you just have to care.” (Rabbi Jack Reimer) Sometimes people are apprehensive when it comes to visiting the sick or the bereaved. “I don’t know what to say.” The rabbi has good advice. People know that you care, just because you bother to show up. I’ve seen it; I’ve experienced it. There are no magic words. What is it that has worked for you? ;-) Jack

FROM PEPPERMINT MARY: i've also seen and experienced this gift of people just being there. they don't have to say a thing. in return i try to be there as often as possible. it's the kind and loving thing to do.////FROM JACK: I think it was Woody Allen who said, "90% of life is just showing up." Maybe I have selective memory, but I can't remember regretting "showing up."////MORE PEPPERMINT: It's always worked for me.

FROM SH IN MICHIGAN: Great WW. When visiting very ill people, I've found it helps to have someone give you this advice. At least I know I didn't get it on my own but looked for help and the helper told me presence is also very comforting to an ill person, you can be quietly prayerfully present or maybe even just quietly present. Great WW. Probably helps a lot of people today.////FROM JACK: I could have had you in mind when I picked out this quote. The care you have shown for the needy is an inspiration for me.

FROM MT IN PENNSYLVANIA: Great, great truth in this, Jack. People sometimes avoid reaching out just because it involves leaving their 'comfort zone'. As a result, they raise the level of discomfort IN their comfort zone.////FROM JACK: One of my favorite parts of Handel's "Messiah" is based on Isaiah 40:1, "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people," and "make the rough places plain."

FROM GOOD DEBT JON: I've had the privilege to sit with several dying friends in their last months, weeks, days, and hours. Some days sitting with my lifelong friend Dave all we did was watch a silly show on Discovery Channel others would bring a little of the old Dave back as we laughed and joked. The Rabbi is correct about caring, the second part is just being there. Myself, I wrote three songs for Dave and was able to let him hear them while he was still alive. But you don’t have to write or do anything special, just be there.////FROM JACK: You're right in using the word, "privilege." Could it be true that the visitor benefits equally with the visited? I suppose that it was true with you and Dave.

FROM OUTHOUSE JUDY: A prayer, a warm hug and a warm bowl of soup. Works!////FROM JACK: "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books are very popular, especially the one: "Stories for Tough Times."

FROM TAMPA SHIRL: Exactly the same, you show you care by just showing up. It helps so much.////FROM JACK: "Glib" is an interesting word. Mark Twain said, "I never trust a man who makes money with his mouth." It reminds us preachers to do more than be glib.

FROM RS IN MICHIGAN: Hugs and actually acknowledging the problem out loud. I think its silly when people don’t talk about the person that died or is sick because “I don’t want to bring it up and make them sad”. Pretending like it didn’t happen makes them even more sad and feeling isolated like they are the only one that is suffering. I love it when my husband says that he was thinking of my mom or any mention of her makes my heart soar. I miss her every day.////FROM JACK: I think that you speak for a lot of people who appreciate it when people care.

FROM RJP IN FLORIDA: This reminds me of my sales seminars. I would tell salesmen that the true art of sales is integrity, empathy and listening, not a glib presentation. Thanks for another good reminder.////FROM JACK: What you told your salesmen is exactly what pastors need to hear. Like it or not, God calls them to be his salesmen/women.

FROM BF IN MICHIGAN: A warm embrace, kind word, thoughtful gesture and quick exit! Don't stay to long and become a burden.////FROM JACK: Like the song goes..."You gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em."

FROM PLAIN FOLKS CHESTER: When I went to Lefty's visitation, I was just about to open my mouth and Jan hugged me and said, "I know." I'll never forget her sensitivity.////FROM JACK: "Action is eloquence." (Shakespeare)

FROM GUSTIE MARLYS: Those words ring true! My friend Sandy who is so very very ill and has had a stem cell transfer is back in the U of M hospital. I think about her so much and pray and pray some more. Sandy just called me. I was very happy to hear from her because I don't want to bother her. She has no idea how long she will be there. I think she is scared that she may never get home. I just talk positive thoughts to her. Cancer is SO terrible!////FROM JACK: Something else that's positive...Sandy knows your number and knows that she can talk with you. A friend told me of something written on the wall of an oncology floor..."Cancer Sucks." Sandy needs you. As the song goes, "That's what friends are for."

FROM TAMPA SHIRL: We have a very special neighborhood where most people have been here forty years or more and then a few young families. Everyone helps everyone else and we all know what is going on with everyone and we all try to help or just show up to let our friends know that we care and willing to help with whatever they need. It is very special. The men have their happy hour once a week to keep up with what is going on, and the women don't get together that often and ours is not the usual connotation of happy hour. But we try to help one another and keep track of what is going on. By the way, I did not know until tonight that the Tigers had lost to the Yankees 10-1 last night.////FROM JACK: "I've got your back" is a common expression used in the military and by police officers and fire fighters. It sounds as though it applies to your neighborhood as well. BTW, I went to be after the 3rd inning last night. The handwriting was on the wall, as it says in the Bible.