Winning Words 6/1/11
“My dad taught me that by being polite and friendly, we can create positive energy around us even in negative situations.” (Kim Clijsters) The home has been a school room where we learned a value-system. The famous Dr. Spock advised new parents not to be afraid that “your children won’t like you.” Value-teaching is not always readily accepted. BTW, what lessons did your parents teach you? ;-) Jack

FROM NL IN INDIANA: TRUE: MAYBE I CAN TEACH THIS TO MY GRANDCHILDREN.////FROM JACK: We learn, so that we can teach....and the beat goes om!"

FROM TS IN MICHIGAN: I dropped my son off at the airport terminal in plenty of time to stand in line for check in while I returned our rental car. As I returned, I joined my son who was now standing at the front of the line. A man behind us started to scream, "You can't take cuts! We're in a hurry, too." I calmly told him that my son was waiting at the front of the line with our baggage. The man would have none of my explanation and persisted. I invited him to go in front of us and he calmed down immediately and walked forward to the next attendant. I waited for the next attendant and walked forward to the counter and said "I think I'll have to buy that guy a drink." The desk manager who had witnessed me diffusing the volatile man down said, "No, sir, I'm going to buy you one." She leaned toward the attendant waiting on us and said, "Put them in 1A and 1B (first class)" She looked up at me, "My compliments, sir." I leaned forward to my son who had obviously witnessed the entire event and said, "Did you learn anything from this?" "Yeah, dad," he exclaimed enthusiastically. Years later, we were at the airport in Minneapolis. Because we booked at different times, we were on different flights that arrived in Banff within five minutes of the other. I asked him to speak to the desk attendant to see if he could get us on the same flight. I watched him approach the woman at the desk. But I was too far away to hear the conversation. My attention diverted to something else when suddenly a new flight pass was thrown into my lap. "We're even," he snorted. I looked at the pass which had a bright, "1B" written on it. The lesson that you write about had returned to me. The lesson I learned from my mother -- who was nice to everyone.////FROM JACK: Isn't it great when "teaching moments" pay dividends with the passing of time...and the dividend is more valuable than a first-class upgrade.////MORE FROM TS: A few weeks ago, my daughter found someone's wallet with $300+ dollars. She went to great lengths to find its owner and she returned it to her. I asked how much she extracted for her reward before she returned it. "Nothing", she responded. "That's not what I taught you," I chided. "Uhhhhhh, yes it is." I smiled broadly. Yes, it is wonderful when we can see the lessons come home.////FROM JACK: When we share examples of what our children have learned about values, the emphasis is on our pride for what they have learned, rather than on their parent/teacher. I think that most of us feel that way. I know that I do.

FROM RI IN BOSTON: I suppose mainly my parents taught me to recognize when it's up to me to take responsibility for something, and then to do it. They also instilled in me "the value of a dollar". (Adjusted for inflation, of course!)////FROM JACK: Your remembrance reminds me of the saying..."If it is to be, it's up to me." And another..."A penny saved is a penny earned."

FROM SH IN MICHIGAN: My parents taught me that sometimes you're going to do things that you don't fully understand and we've all found that God actually works through those things and so finally there is a comfort level with living with hope and looking through a dark glass dimly. I don't think there was ever a time when I "didn't like them for that" but there was a time when I didn't like the church. People in the church didn't teach the values I could feel like I could adopt. Things were supposed to be more black and white there and cut and dried--or so it seemed to my much younger mind.////FROM JACK: Value-learning is an ongoing process. Who's to say that we're too old to learn new ways of looking at things (and people). Sometimes we need to have the lenses in our glasses changed.

FROM EMT SINGS IN MICHIGAN: By their example I learned many things without even knowing it. They were hard working people without much formal education. Married during the depression they were soul mates . Lived thru very hard times by hard work and tenacity. Years ago I made them a collage which included this poem that I wrote:
"My parents are very dear to me, and steady as a rock.
Unwavering, unfaltering and ageless as a clock.
My world has grown, extending way past my eye,
But in my mind there are two, that have not changed a hue,
And won't til the day that I die!"
My Dad had colon cancer at age 40 and lived with a colostomy til the cancer reocurred and he died 30 years later.////FROM JACK: I know that, theologically, there's a danger in anthropomorphizing heaven, but I can imagine your parents looking down and being proud to see their teaching bearing fruit.

FROM HS IN MICHIGAN: My motto as well!////FROM JACK: "Motto" is from the Latin, meaning: "A pledge.

FROM TAMPA SHIRL: Kim is a Belgian, you know, and that value system was certainly strong in the Moline community-along with the hard-working Swedes. ////FROM JACK: Kim is a favorite of mine. As far as I can recall, the Belgians in Moline didn't excel at tennis, but they were good at rolle-bolle and pigeon racing.////
MORE FROM SHIRL: One value system I learned was from Father Culemans. He would never give his homily in Flemish, only in English, because he said that we were all Americans now, My great-grandmother, who was a midwife- never learned English. Dad said that he used to untie her apron strings and she would whack him with her cane. Dad says that her funeral was the largest one he ever saw at the church where he was as altar boy. Of course, we are all global now, but we still have our value system, which is why so many people want to come here to live.////FROM JACK: "Freedom of religion" is a hard-sell to some people these days.

FROM CS IN WISCONSIN: Go to church; be responsible for your actions; be kind to others; don’t speak disrespectfully to your parents or others; don’t spend money you don’t have; take care of your things and many more.////FROM JACK: I don't recall that I met your father, but I think I met your mom, and "like mother, like daughter."

FROM RUTHIE IN ILLINOIS: I love receiving your winning words,and it is uncanny how many days the words help with what I'm going through! My Dad would say "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it" ,and my Mom would say"This too shall pass". As a kid I did'nt buy that. As an adult I say those words every day.:) peace to you.////FROM JACK: Isn't memory a great gift? I can picture your parents now (and even hear their voices)...without having seen them for over 40 years.

FROM BLAZING OAKS: "Make your words sweet, you never know when you're going to have to eat 'em!" My mom never seemed to speak ill of anyone, and she taught us to have fun. We played board or card games after our homework was done, and to this day, I am an avid game and card player. She taught several of our friends, and Jan and I to play 500, Rummy and pinochle in Jr. high, during long summer days, as well as tennis, (she won the C.Mauritz Johnson Cup, Moline City championship when she was 40: the Oakwood Country Club Golf championship at 48) and the complicated game of bridge in High school, (patience!!) and all of us were life-long bridge players. Pat T., Tyke F,. Ann H. Jan and I were all on the H.S. and college tennis teams. Have been watching some of the French Open this past week. My brother and wife, in their late 70's (visited here over Memorial weekend) are still active tennis players! So besides going to church every Sunday, and ALWAYS following through on commitments, we learned how to have a good time.////FROM JACK: My mother never taught me how to lose gracefully at board games, or even at Old Maid.

FROM JE IN MICHIGAN: My parents taught me to work hard, be honest, polite, to ‘treat others they way we would like to be treated,’ to always say please and thank you and to write thank you notes and mostly, to trust in the Lord. This has served me well. Although I was not fortunate enough to have children, I have 15 nieces and nephews and I’ve tried to instill the same value-system.////FROM JACK: You learned your lessons well, and it even carries over into your e-mails. BTW, they taught you to be nice, too.

FROM MOLINER CF: My parents were smart enough to let me learn. But they never let me hurt myself.////FROM JACK: When I was a small boy, my parents put a harness on me and tied me to a stake in the backyard with a long rope. One day they came out, and I was gone. I had pulled out the stake and gone down the street to watch some men building a house. When I was in grade school, and, as a teenager, they gave up on a harness and a leash.

FROM AM IN MICHIGAN: Faith and money management. They knew they were teaching us the religion but the money was taught the same way; by their actions. My Dad would say " My car never stalls in front of the bank." I chuckle to myself when I think of it. He would just toss that out as we rode along. There was money for the important things. This was not said but lived. During the depression, church donation was always given. When the grandchildren are shopping, we talk about money for the important things. We make choices. Tonight, we were at one of our children's homes for family dinner. As we left a grandchild's room, I turned off the ceiling light. "Remember the college fund." I am sure they figure it is a grandma thing. And we won't talk about waste of electricity!////FROM JACK: Jesus taught about religion and money, too. "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God, the things that are God's." Your dad must have read that in the Bible.