Winning Words 1/13/11
“Anyone can become angry. That’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—this is not easy.” (Aristotle – sent by MO) When a friend of mine became angry at someone he’d write a “hot” letter to them, expressing his feelings, and then toss the letter away. Old Aristotle had the right solution…2500 years ago. ;-) Jack

FROM PRJS IN MICHIGAN: I used to walk around the block and utter nasty things....maybe kick a tree....then come back and get to work... FROM JACK: That's better than kicking the dog and easier than kicking yourself. I get a kick out of your answers, although I'm surprised that you didn't comment on Aristotle. I have a book which lists the strange names that some people have. One guy's name is Asistotle Tottle.

FROM CWR IN B'MORE: .........good morning! I note that this was sent at 5:35 am. Do you nap? FROM JACK: I usually try to send Winning Words out by 5:15 am, but I slept in today. Does that count for a nap?

FROM SH IN MICHIGAN: I have trouble with all this angry--right time, right degree, right purpose, etc., when someone I'm related to is angrily disrespecting me, I think mostly because their anger is not really at the right time, right degree, right purpose, etc., it all originates from some other beginning than even something that I did then. Things seem to get blown up all out of proportion until someone stops to think about what someone like Aristotle says about how we need to be aware and reflective in order to deal with our emotions and outbursts. Thanks--Aristotle and you have made me think again this morning. FROM JACK: Even Jesus got angry once in a while. The old preacher, Jonathan Edwards, gave a sermon, "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," which had people moaning and screaming and rolling in the aisles, asking for God's forgiveness.

FROM OUTHOUSE JUDY: Being upset with someone or some situation is easy. But to become angry is very hard for me. Thing upset me once and awhile but to become really angry doesn't happen often....thankfully. I put things in perceptive; figure out who owns the problem and then figure out if I have any control of the issue or person or situation. This helps me deal with situations and people without getting angry...nearly all of the time. It works. I don't get angry if one of my family members or friends says or does something outrageous but I do control how I react. That's what I try to do. FROM JACK: Are "upset" and "angry" the same thing? Or, is upset a mild form of anger? Some people count to TEN! You have a good suggestion.

FROM LG IN MICHIGAN: Good one, Jack! I used to deny my anger, but it just turned inward... I didn't understand that repressed anger could so damage me, but it was a root cause of depression for me. Once I allowed myself to be angry, I was angry ALL the time for about a year! : ) But over time I have learned to recognize when I'm feeling angry, and to DECIDE how to respond, rather than to react. I consider this one of my life achievements, every bit as important as any degree I've earned! Thanks for all u do, Jack! You're a light in this world! FROM JACK: Oftentimes we are simply reflectors of the Light of the World." You are that, too, as you come into contact with the people you serve.

FROM MO IN ILLINOIS: Obviously I love this quote...certainly generates a thoughtful approach toward directing your anger. I think your friend has the right idea...blow off your steam via writing, and discard when you simmer down. Too bad more aren't capable of this sort of restraint! Thanks for sharing good old Aristotle of 2500 yrs. ago. (!) FROM JACK: See? I do use some of the stuff that people, like you, send to me. In fact, it seems to have generated a lot of response.