Jack’s Winning Words 9/26/14
“Knowing that there is worse pain doesn’t make the present pain hurt less.”  (Real Live Preacher)  I’ve made the mistake of trying to help people who have problems by telling them of others who are in a worse situation.  Whether it’s harsh or minor, pain is still a pain.  When mother kisses the child’s “owie”, it’s not the kiss that heals, but the caring words, “there, there,” that stop the tears.  This world needs more caring.    ;-)  Jack

FROM PAUL IN ST. PAUL:  rabbi kushner says that hurting people don't need explanation (why is this happening to me?).  rather, they need consolation.====JACK:  Can anyone really say, I "know" how you feel?  Is it ever possible to get inside another's skin? 

FROM MICHIZONA RAY:  One of the gifts of the body is that we cannot recall "pain". We can recall painful experiences; but the actual pain remains forgotten. It is a great gift. Maybe this partially accounts for my mother having so many children?!?! And, "this too shall pass" comes to mind. ====JACK:  If God had wanted birth control, perhaps he should have chosen to give the father the same pain that was given to the mother.

FROM TARMART REV:  Very well stated, Jack . . . a good memory to recall, hopefully the next time . . .====JACK:  I was reading that there is such a thing as selective amnesia...usually (but not always) brought on by a head injury...where we can purposely forget certain experiences and feelings.====REV:  Not unusual when sharing a 5th Step with a person in AA that they don't recall many of those earlier years in their childhood. 0:-/

FROM SHARIN' SHARON:  In the Stephen Ministries training a group of us took, we mulled over the helpful and unhelpful things to say to someone in distress and it seems that, when the caregiver is uncomfortable and in distress over some sort of sharing from the carereceiver, they try to reduce the level of distress by pointing out someone somewhere has it much worse. I believe the problem isn't so much in pointing out the greater reality but "in the feelings" between the caregiver and carereceiver and who finally is getting their feelings taken care of, which may be more the caregiver's. The caregiver is uncomfortable realizing the nature of the carereceiver's pain and suffering. Challenge of life is coming to grips with what is uncomfortable I guess. Maybe it's the cross.====JACK:  There are times when we become uncomfortable in the presence of someone who is uncomfortable.  That can cause us to try to ease our pain by "saying" or "doing" things!

 FROM BB IN ILLINOIS:  Did you happen to see the youtube video of Naftali’s mom (one of the three boys executed in Israel 2 months ago) regarding Rosh Hashanah?  It’s inspirational in my opinion…..taking the pain and instead being thankful for the outpouring of support and unity she experienced.====JACK:  No, I did not see that.  I'll have to check it out.  I was in the Post Office on Rosh  Hashanah.  I've never seen it so empty.

FROM BS IN ENGLAND:  When I was a child I was knocked off my bike and had lots of cuts and grazes.  By the time I arrived home I was crying and in pain.  My mother said " Are you dead"   l replied No!  Then she said " Let's get you cleaned up and have some cake and a cup of tea" 
In England we always have a cup of tea when there are problems.====JACK:  A cup of tea is better than a dose of castor oil.  Your mother seems like she was a wise woman.

FROM CK IN MICHIGAN:  Oh I don't know Jack. There is also something to be said for keeping things in perspective . Don't you think? But I agree a kind caring word is always welcome! ;-). I still get owies!!====JACK:  Generally speaking, truisms are true, but there are always exceptions.  I remember talking with you about a friend of mine who has ALS.