Jack’s Winning Words 4/22/14
“One of the sincerest forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”  (Bryant McGill)  Dale Carnegie, famous for his book, “How to Win Friends etc.”, says that knowing how to listen is important to successful communication.  At home, at school, in business…”Let people finish…Don’t butt in…Listen with an open mind.”  Today, we’ll each have opportunities to “win friends and influence people.”    ;-)  Jack
BTW…Did you “listen” to my trash talk yesterday?

FROM HONEST JOHN:  Actually the key to debating is to actually listen to the opposition.   Bill Clinton is good at that.   Romney didn't have a clue.====JACK:  In "real" life, I try to see both sides of an issue.  I wouldn't be a good debater.====JOHN:  Actually,  you must be able to see all sides to debate.  The closed minded are doomed.====JACK:  A lot of people see debating as arguing... arguing in the sense of what goes on in many homes.  In that type of situation, people don't seem to be of a mind to actually listen.  Just an observation....

FROM TARMART REV:  ...good eye contact while listening is the icing on the cake!!====JACK:  Multi-tasking is sometimes difficult.  Seeing...hearing...thinking.  One can get in the way of others. ====REV:  So true...blessed when they are all in sync.

FROM EDUCATOR PAUL:  I was cycling in Detroit over the weekend with a  Detroit cycling friend of mine. We did a couple of laps around Belle Isle. I learned there is an interesting controversy going on regarding the DNR and the Grand Prix. The mission statement of the DNR is "The Michigan Department of Natural Resources is committed to the conservation, protection, management, use and enjoyment of the state's natural and cultural resources for current and future generations."  The residents are asking the DNR, how creating an event that produces so much pollution and potential harm to animals and plant life fits that mission statement?  That's interesting!!!====JACK:  Oh, if it were a perfect world.  Sometimes compromises have to be made.  In the case of the Island, the DNR is a caretaker for a time.  A caretaker's main tool is not a hammer.====PAUL:  Still..interesting!====JACK:  In your work and in mine, you learn that some things take time and a process of education.  "Rome wasn't built in day!"

FROM RI IN BOSTON:  Listening not only shows respect...you may actually learn something.  Keeping an open mind is important because "there are two sides to every story."====JACK:  You can get run over by people going in both directions if you stand in the middle of the road, but sometimes that's the chance you take.

FROM DR J IN OHIO:  Happy Earth Day - Every Day!====JACK:  I'm finding it VERY difficult to follow my own suggestion...Don't create any garbage on Earth Day.

FROM SHARIN' SHARON:  Jesus is always my premier example in being able to listen. And then he can say, after an encounter with someone, "Your faith has made you well." Or something like that, I have to read my Bible some more. Everyone I know, who has taken the Carnegie courses (including my daughter) has always been impressed with the wisdom in them and I'm guessing Jesus and Carnegie must have known each other intimately.  Thanks for these WW too.====JACK:  I like this hymn verse...
Thank you, Lord, for hearing me.
Thank you, Lord, for knowing who I am.
Thank you, Lord, for seeing me.
It's so easy to get lost these days
In the shuffle and the noise.

FROM BLAZING OAKS:  "Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be": We're never  to  old to really start paying attention to what's said to us, and really communicating. My son pastor Fred has that gift of being totally involved with a person, and asking questions to further his interest and knowledge of their (our) situations.  I'm often guilty of "butting in" as you put it, to add something of my own!  Will try to be more "respectful", remembering this WW post! ====JACK:  Your "butting in" comment reminded me of advice that I got when I was a kid..."Don't be a buttinski!"  Have you ever heard that term?

FROM MK AT WBFD:  Happy Easter!   This is the best time!  I really need to listen better I am a butter inner!  Especially with soft spoken people who hesitate, I am really working on it!  I don’t want anyone to think that I think what I have to say is more important!====FROM JACK:  Your wanting to talk doesn't necessarily mean that you're not listening.  In fact, it may mean that you are totally involved.  The world needs that kind of a person.  The world is a better place because of who you are.

FROM GOOD DEBT JON:  A simple way to show you are actually listening is to recap or paraphrase what the speaker has said after a few minutes. This lets the person know you are really listening and actually care about what is being said.   BTW, I ignored the trash talk yesterday...on purpose. ====JACK:  Yes, I know about your advice to recap, but I, like a lot of others, are itching to put in our two cents worth.  Recapping takes precious time.  Sardonic!====JON  Yes most are just waiting for their turn to speak, not really listening.  The recap and paraphrase is only used for those relationships you really care about...

FROM OUTHOUSE JUDY:  Oh how nice it is when you are telling someone an important story and they don't stop you to answer the phone or to give advice.  It's hard sometimes not to butt in, however, a good friend listens first and then talks.  That's a hard one for me sometimes except with my grandchildren.  I can listen to them all day without saying a word.  The stories and the things they share are wonderful.  PS.  Yes, I did listen to your trash talk.  I didn't throw anything away yesterday.  Nothing at all...well except the things that needed throwing away.====JACK:  Sometimes it's necessary to butt (indirectly) in and encourage the talker to get to the point.

FROM EMT SINGS IN MICHIGAN:  Actually, I have been trying to think of ways to do more to save the earth.  I recycle almost everything: newspapers, cardboard, take hangers back to dry cleaners, etc.  However, I struggle in some areas like saving water.  I guess I am a work in progress!  I will keep trying!====JACK:  The earth has been soooo forgiving.  I just wonder how much longer before she says, "Enough, already!"

FROM LP IN PLYMOUTH:  Today is trash day in our sub. So I've been keeping an eye on what i add to the now-empty bin.====JACK:  Yesterday I saw a pickup truck cruising our subdivision streets, stopping occasionally to pick up items waiting for today's trash haulers.  Recycling!