Winning Words 7/25/11
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” (Dr. Spock) Spock wrote one of the best selling baby books of all time, urging parents to use common sense in raising their children (including teens). In many life situations, besides child-rearing, it’s not wrong to rely on “horse sense.” In the movie, “What About Bob,” Bill Murray says of his psychiatrist, “It’s the horse sense of the guy.” ;-) Jack

FROM SH IN MICHIGAN: Your WW today are interesting. As was the daily ELCA scripture which gave the scripture where Solomon decided between the two mothers and gave the mother who didn't want her child cut in half, gave her her baby back. Trust yourself to give up control over your own child? I've found parenting to involve a process where I've learned to trust the inner life of my child who always wants to turn toward the Light and grow from it. Sometimes it's more than I ever was able to think of before and surprising that what I wouldn't have thought would have worked actually turns out all right in the end. Thanks for your provocative WW again this morning.////FROM JACK: Your response caused me to think about another kind of option, called, Hobson's Choice. "Take it, or leave it" doesn't leave much room for negotiation. It's a style that some parents use. It's also the kind of thinking leads to NFL and NBA lockouts and political brinkmanship.

FROM RS IN MICHIGAN: At my baby shower, when I was expecting my first baby, they handed out 3x5 cards for all to write down their best piece of advice for a new mother. Many suggestions were good, but my wonderful Aunt Marilyn’s said “throw away all of these cards and do what YOU feel is best!” I loved it. She is my mom’s sister. My mom, and 2 of her sisters have always been my greatest advisers. Only Aunt Marilyn is alive now and we talk often. ////FROM JACK: Everyone ought to have an "Auntie Mame." If you haven't seen the movie or read the book, do so, and you will, no doubt, be reminded of your Aunt Marilyn.

FROM BLAZING OAKS: Unfortunately, Dr. Spock's ideas didn't work too well with his child: As Will Rogers said so many years ago, "Good judgement comes from Experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." I think we raised our younger two quite differently than the older two...not quite so strict, more motivation through loving...but still feel they all became responsible and caring adults. It IS hard to beat common sense, and their father had a ton of that!////FROM JACK: "You can lead a horse to water etc," is a fitting proverb for Dr. Spock and for parents who try to do the right thing with regard to raising a child. The children of ministers are often held under a microscope, too. God, in his wisdom, gave everyone (including children) a free will.

FROM GUSTIE MARLYS: I almost wore out that book--amazing how he changed later in life.////FROM JACK: It was really a helpful book, because it encouraged the use of common sense.////MORE FROM GM: That is something that young parents of today just can't use. There is a law to regulate EVERYTHING!!! They all drink bottled water. I used to drink water from the garden hose! They have to have all the right gear for whatever sport they are doing. No "pick-up games"--things have to have coaches, etc. Dumb!!! It was alot easier to have fun when we were kids!////FROM JACK: When they used to repair street cracks with hot tar, we would pick up some of the excess and chew it like gum.

FROM TAMPA SHIRL: That quote is interesting-trust yourself you know more than you think you know. I remember Dr. Spock's book very well and really liked his medical advice. But I remember his permissiveness and letting the child do whatever he and she wanted to do. That didn't make any sense to me= common or horse.////FROM JACK: Just wonderin'......What are your thoughts about God's permissiveness? Life is full of questions.

FROM OUTHOUSE JUDY: Good words. Although I think Dr. Spock really missed the mark on childhood, ultimately we have to trust ourselves, especially in bringing up our children, along with living this life we are blessed with. ////FROM JACK: 50,000,000 copies in at least 39 languages isn't missing the mark by much.

FROM JB IN WISCONSIN: I love that movie!////FROM JACK: I know practically every line, and I laugh every time I see it.

FROM WATERFORD ANNE: I have my Spock book to this day. I have puchased new child rearing books as the grandchildren came along. I just took all of those to a new family member who is expecting but I kept my Spock. Spock saved one of my children. Our son was ill with pneumonia and an ear infection. We had seen the doctor three days in a row. The third night, our eleventh wedding anniversary, our six year old son complained of a stomach ache. He was lying down; I sat next to him with my Dr. Spock next to us and followed the pain in his abdomen. I concluded it was appendicitis according to Dr. Spock. We called our doctor who told us to take him to the hospital. Friends who were visiting watched our other children.
Our son had emergency appendectomy at 2 a.m. He is now 55 and we thank Dr. Spock . He is one of the many who has helped us along the way.////FROM JACK: I'm sure that there are thousands of stories about how Spock calmed the fears of anxious parents, or, as in your case, gave life-saving advice.