Winning Words 4/19/11
“Only your real friends will tell you that your face is dirty.” (Sicilian Proverb) Do you remember the song with the line, “For good times and bad times, that’s what friends are for?” I appreciate the times when my wife tells me that I have “coney sauce” on my face. Of course, what the Sicilians are saying is that we need friends who care enough to let us know when our thinking and behavior need adjustment. ;-) Jack

FROM RS IN MICHIGAN: A co-worker is that friend for me, and of course my husband. He REALLY keeps me in line! One “look” from that handsome face and I straighten up faster than when my mother did that to me! FROM JACK: "That's what friends are for...in good times and bad"...and for those times when we need to hear the truth. You're fortunate to have people like that in your life.

FROM GOOD DEBT JON: Perhaps our President has no friends that will tell him he has "coney sauce" on his face (his thinking and behavior) as he ignores basic math in his budget and deficit spending speeches. FROM JACK: It's not an easy job, being President of the United States, so I'm sure that all who have been elected, seek the advice of close friends (including wives). I know that I would.

FROM BLAZING OAKS: One of my best friends (Moline and Augie) tells of going to a very posh reception at U. of IN, where her husband was a professor, dressed to the nines, and indulging in a broccoli appetizer. She realized when she returned home that she had spent the entire evening with a green spritzle between her front teeth, smiling and conversing with many "Bigwigs"...she was aghast, and chided her husband for not alerting her about it, and his reply was, "I never noticed it..." Sometimes we don't pay attention, or it is that old phrase from Silas Marner, "the contempt bred by myopic familiarity"?! :-) It IS great to have our nearest and dearest,
whether friend or relative alert us when we need to make a correction!! Usually always appreciated... at least in retrospect! FROM JACK: You've brought to light another point. Sometimes, our closest friends see through things that others (even ourselves) see as "flaws." So what, if there's "coney sauce" on our face? What difference does it make? Well, maybe it does make a good story. "Do you remember when.....?"

FROM OUTHOUSE JUDY: My closest friend, my husband, doesn't "see" flaws in me at all. That is a blessing and a curse. I can walk around with something on my face or on my clothes and he doesn't let me know because he doesn't "see" it....he really doesn't! But, I can overlook that problem because he also overlooks my "real" flaws. FROM JACK: There are flaws and there flaws. Sometimes, we are our most severe critic, seeing flaws that really are only in our mind.

FROM FM IN WISCONSIN: Or our appearance needs adjustment – your hair is messed, your shoes need
polish, your zipper is down . . . FROM JACK: An interesting observation today.....Most of the e-mail talk has been on the "physical," with lesser talk about giving/receiving "criticism" about behavior and thinking.

FROM SH IN MICHIGAN: Actually, I believe that people who don't even like you and like to criticize you will tell you you have a dirty face or an extra long nose or big ears or your hairs sticking up funny, whatever. All the people who are embarrassed to see you like that and don't want you to be embarrassed have to have this interior conflict whether or not to say something or probably they are just wishing someone else will say something. That's why we need a lot of mirrors and windows and shiny reflective surfaces around. FROM JACK: Do you remember back to grade school days? Those who didn't like you, or were jealous, were the ones who pointed out "flaws" in how you looked. Real friends were more interested in "who" you were.