Jack’s Winning Words 3/27/15
“You can’t fake listening. It shows.” (Raquel Welch) Have you ever been caught pretending to be listening to someone, but not paying attention to what was being said? I have…and it’s so embarrassing. Here’s what good listeners will do…Try not to interrupt…Concentrate (studies show we hear about 25% of what’s being said)…Try not to “top” the speaker…Don’t leap ahead with answers…Of course, there are more hints. How do you work at listening? ;-) Jack
FROM HONEST JOHN: An interesting speaker helps!====JACK: A homiletics professor gave this advice with regard to presenting an interesting sermon..."Take the text and connect it up with life."
FROM RI IN BOSTON: Your guidelines for "good listeners" are certainly applicable when engaged in serious conversation. With reference to "studies show we hear about 25% of what's being said", that's often enough in the company of some speakers, because only 25% of what they say is worth hearing. One way to work at listening is to choose to whom you'll listen. In some social circumstances there are persons who I would choose to steer clear of (Sean Hannity, for example).
====JACK: One of the best inventions is the TV "clicker."
FROM TARMART REV: Back in her day . . . when Raquel Welch spoke . . . it was hard to listen!! ====JACK: I didn't think that AG ministers knew about Raquel.====REV: Those were the B.C. days...not really!! Even in my old age, one of God's created women will still turn my head!
FROM SHARIN' SHARON: A most important topic. Seems to me "learning about the necessity to work at listening" comes to me over and over and over again as some people block any really authentic sharing from me of life experiences, feelings, etc. and since I then "know what it feels like" to not truly be received, more deeply understand that it's all about "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you", one way or another, I learn something about how to "try to be more hospitable to others" from each and ever single experience and they seem to be all unique so it requires paying quite a lot of attention. Jesus is my main model--I admire and respect His listening skills so much!!!!!!!====JACK: A hymn often comes to mind when I read what people have written to me. In this instance it's a hymn written by the old Swedish pietist , Carl Rosenius,
I have a friend, so patient, kind, forbearing, Of all my friends this friend doth love me best;
Though I am weak and sinful, yet when sharing His love and mercy I am ever blest.
He is my Lord, my friend, yea, He’s my brother; And Jesus Christ is His most blessèd name.
He loves more tenderly than any mother; To rest in Him is more than wealth and fame.
FROM CHESTER THE GOOD: Every once in a while say, "I'm sorry. I didn't hear that." And don't let your eyes glaze over.====JACK: In the old comic strips a geezer would cup his hand to his ear and shout, "EHHH?"
FROM AW IN ILLINOIS: Boy! Did you nail me today!====JACK: Mainly, I go around talking to myself. Thanks for listening in.
FROM PRJM: As a naturally shy person it is often hard to look someone in the eyes as they speak, but I try to do so because it helps me listen and it shows them I am listening. Giving/getting feedback, such as, "do I understand this correctly?" is another way to listen well.====JACK: Repeating what the person has said is a good tip...as long as you don't do it after every sentence. Yes, I know you don't do that.
FROM BLAZING OAKS: As Winston Churchill observed, "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." A good conversationalist, and a good listener, are both a wonderful asset in groups, dinner parties and gatherings! Often a couple will comprise one of each, have you noticed?====JACK: A good listener is able to say the right thing at the right time and then go back to listening.
FROM OUTHOUSE JUDY: This is a problem for me. I find myself drifting off sometimes when we are in a group and someone starts telling a story that I have heard many times. Then I remind myself the same group has probably heard my stories too. So I am a work in progress. One way that helps me is to look directly at the person who is talking and try to listen like I'd never heard it before. It helps.====JACK: Another problem...Someone's talking to you, and you happen to see someone across the room, and you're reminded of something you need to say to them. Like you say...keep your eyes on the person who's talking to you.
FROM BS IN ENGLAND: I'm like you I often wonder in my thoughts when a certain friend is talking to me, the reason being that what he is saying is so boring! However when listening to most people I focus on their eyes.====JACK: It's been said that eyes are the windows of the soul. I asked my ophthalmologist about that. I don't think that she was into philosophy, but I did give her something to think about. BTW, what do you think about the eyes and the soul?
FROM CK IN MICHIGAN: I'm sorry did you say something??😄====JACK: Sorry...I was talking to someone else.
FROM LAUREN ANDERSON ON FACEBOOK: "One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say." (Bryant McGill)