“It’s important that parents tell their kids, ‘No!’ once in a while.” (Mary Jo Peterson) Last week there was an article in the Detroit Free Press telling how today’s parents are having difficulty raising teens and tweeners. One mother wonders if she’s the only one facing the challenge of parenting in this day and age. Was it much different when you were growing up? I was given freedom…but within boundaries. ;-) Jack
FROM CN IN MICHIGAN: I figured it'd be a baseball quote since the subject was 'inning words!' ====JACK: My new keyboard and my sleepy fingers don't always cooperate when I ake up in the morning.
FROM TARMART REV: My parents (along with the church) certainly instilled the fear of God in my life...I didn't want to go to hell and it certainly did keep me out of a number hellish addictions, along with understanding how I fell prey to some of those worldly traps I did fall into...I'm sure they and the church were guilty of bordering on legalism, but know as well they both were helpful, for me anyway, to keep more on the narrow road of righteousness than the broader road of additional tangled messes, and who knows what else. "In all things I give thanks!"====JACK: I think that most parents want the "best" for their children. There are various ways that this might be accomplished. Sometimes children follow mom's and dad's parenting example with their own children, and sometimes they don't.
FROM SHARIN' SHARON: Enjoyed your WW this morning. About freedom and boundaries. I've tried to process over and over just what I got from my church Church of Christ upbringing, was it talk about Jesus and not helping me to have a spiritual and physical relationship to Jesus--just what was I learning and absorbing from church in my early years but one thing I can say with certainty is in my family's home life, they were teaching and helping me to respect and care about and even lift up in importance people that the society so often wanted to avoid and even cast aside. And I guess in that home teaching there grew freedom from cultural restraints and boundaries that only tended to separate people and isolate people and a greater security in myself. This coming All Saints Day, I celebrate the memory of my Mom and Dad. Now my church life and early upbringing in my home life seem to have come together more. Thanks be to God!!!!!!!
Thanks for your thought-provoking WW again today.====JACK: As many of recall our growing up years, we are able to winnow them, saving the grain and letting the chaff fly away.
FROM MICHIZONA RAY: I remember how every adult, whether a teacher or someone riding the bus into Detroit, had a certain authority over me (and all children for that matter). If any adult were to "guide" my behavior, it was as though my parents were doing the same. Times have changed indeed. The mantra of, "Don't trust strangers" has led to quite a different atmosphere. Couple that with the state of the culture that looks to the "experts" for advice to everything, and it's no wonder parents struggle. My parents weren't my friends, thankfully. Just as my friends weren't my parents. It was nice to have both! I don't envy parents today; I think the uphill climb is steeper.====JACK: One of the important things that an effective "teacher" needs to know is that there is a difference between being friendly and being a friend.
FROM DOCTOR PAUL: It's good parenting advice to be clear on what's acceptable and what's not. Just saying"no" without some communication between parent and child just brings resentment and misses a golden opportunity for "a teachable moment." However, once reasons are discussed and arguing persists...forms of no may be the only option..such as.."because as your patent, I'm not comfortable with...." This is no guarantee that the child ( any age) will walk away with a smile on their face, but a war has probably been avoided and the child has been taken out of a potentially dangerous situation.====JACK: The "No" is often followed by a "Why." After trying to explain and receiving another, "Why?"....the exasperated parent is permitted to say, "Just because!"
FROM TS IN MICHIGAN: some once asked me "do you realize how often we say 'no' and 'don't' to our children?" I became conscious of it. It's very, very frequent, particularly when they are small. ====JACK: Is G-d like that when he deals with our "childish" ways?
FROM WISCONSIN DONNA: Lack of boundaries? Big concern today. AND they must be set early. It's hard for parents to say "No" to a 17 year old if they haven't practiced.====JACK: Which of these pictures do you think best describes how parenting should be done?
FROM GOOD DEBT JON: My wife and I always told our kids, "It's OK to want…" Adding sometimes, "… it builds character." ====JACK: That's a good one....Give them an answer that causes them to stop and wonder, "What did she just say?"
FROM OLD JOAN: I think we were given boundaries, values, and NOT everything our little hearts desired. There didn't seem to be very many "Joneses" with whom we needed to keep up. Just the opinion of an older person!====JACK: As an experiment....Ask your grandchildren if they now what "Keeping up with the Joneses" means?
FROM RI IN BOSTON: Essentially my parents trusted me to use sound judgment regarding the things I did. If I wanted something, my parents didn't say "no", they just told me to go earn the money to get what I wanted. Due to circumstances, my parents had to manage the money wisely, and they did the best they could for our food and shelter. When an opportunity for me to work came along I took advantage of it. Not only was that beneficial to my parents, it also taught me about responsibility and the difference between "wanting" and "needing."====JACK: I can't ever remember getting an allowance, but I always seemed to have some money...not a lot, but enough. My parents gave me more than cash!====RI: You are so right about "cash" from our parents being of little meaning. The money is long gone but the significant legacy from our parents continues to sustain us.
FROM IKE AT THE MIC: It has been wisely said "Freedom without responsibility leads to anarchy."
By the way have you considered picking the "Top 365 Winning Words Quotations", only choosing the ones that have a positive message & by printing them in a booklet format.====JACK: Did you ever have responsibilities when you were a kid? I had to go downstairs and start the fire in the furnace on winter mornings. That involved shoveling coal and carrying out the ashes and clinkers. Try explaining that to a teenager today. BTW, I'm satisfied to let Winning Words be like a casual daily greeting between friends. Someone can put together a booklet after I've escaped this world...if they choose to.
FROM PASTIE PAT IN THE HOLY LAND: I'm livin' the dream --- participating in the olive harvest in the West Bank.====JACK: Tell me....How do they get those little red things into the olives, or do they come that way?
FROM PEPPERMINT MARY: no is a good word to learn. i had much freedom as well, but i knew that "no meant no"!====JACK: You were raised right! Right?
1 comment:
I remember how every adult, whether a teacher or someone riding the bus into Detroit, had a certain authority over me (and all children for that matter). If any adult were to "guide" my behavior, it was as though my parents were doing the same. Times have changed indeed. The mantra of, "Don't trust strangers" has led to quite a different atmosphere. Couple that with the state of the culture that looks to the "experts" for advice to everything, and it's no wonder parents struggle. My parents weren't my friends, thankfully. Just as my friends weren't my parents. It was nice to have both! I don't envy parents today; I think the uphill climb is steeper.
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